A Game of Fees

“Winter is coming.” – Eddard Stark, discussing his Comcast bill

Comcast is the worst. They suck. They support SOPA. They are political bullies. They cap their speeds. They are the worst company in America…but I got to have my cat photos.

While I scramble to find a less evil internet service provider in Oakland, I might as well save some $$$ on fees (Comcast’s bread and butter). These rules apply to internet (Xfinity) service but could very well apply to voice and television service as well (I suggest you stop watching TV and dump your landline but those are posts for another day).

Buy your plan online

Comcast runs a number of online promotions that are not available by calling or visiting a service center (in fact, phone operators deny the discounts even exist!). The savings are real (my plan purchased online is 50% cheaper than the standard “Performance” package) and many of the deals are offered without a binding contract and can be cancelled at any time.

Never speak to or meet any representative of Comcast in person

To borrow a quote from Martin Lomasney,

“Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink.”

Add to that: “never wink if you can self-install”.

Moving into an apartment you’re most likely to have a coaxial cable already sticking out of some wall. If you just built a new house or decided to pull a Thoreau, you may be out of luck in this department. I was told the cost of activating service, which involves waiting at home during a five hour block for a Comcast representative to do Something would run me $90. For homes with existing coaxial lines, this Something is more like Nothing.

For houses already wired, opt for the “Self-install kit” during online checkout but DO NOT PICK IT UP.

Do not have it mailed to you (a $15 fee) Do not pick it up from the service center (a $10 fee) Do not have a representative bring it to your home (a $90 fee) Just forget that it exists.

The kit contains some instructions you don’t need, a cable splitter you don’t need, and a coaxial cable that (you guessed it) you don’t need. All you actually need is a cable modem, which brings me to my next point:

Buy your own cable modem

Comcast charges $7 per month to rent their sub-par cable modem. This can really add up for a service you’re likely to purchase for the rest of your natural life. Do yourself a favor and buy something DOCSIS 3.0 complaint (preferably used).

Another advantage to having your own modem is that you can activate your service immediately. After buying your plan online, plug your modem into the wall and try to access a web page. Comcast will route you to an automatic activation page that will have you online instantly.

If you already have a plan with Comcast, consider buying your own modem and return the rented appliance.

My fee free internet bill. No setup fees and a steep discount on Performance service.